Tim, Babies, and Crocodiles...

Once upon a time there was a young man named Tim. Tim wrote an Internet profile of himself that went something like this:

WHAT TIM THE BOY SAYS

About Me:

at least I think I'm pretty cool I'm a recent college graduate and now I'm working as an actuary. I'd like to say something silly like, "I like to eat children", but I don't know if I want people to have the impression that I go around telling people that I like to eat children. I mean I don't eat children. Just ask somebody who knows me and I'm sure they'll tell you that they have never seen me eat children. Eating children is just not my thing. I don't even know why I brought it up.

Who I'd Like to Meet:

Hopefully someone who realizes that I was just joking about eating children. I normally don't tell jokes like that, but I just wanted to see how many times I could make a reference to eating children in what I wrote. Right now I've got it up to seven. I'd like to see YOU beat that!

I have it from a reliable source that the statements above were entirely original thought and not intended to reference Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal. Of course statements like the above could not go long without notice. "Eating children/ babies" soon became an original bit strictly associated with Tim. At the time that I was dating this young man named Tim I was working part-time at Barnes & Noble in the children's section. One evening a co-worker brought over a picture book that she found on the shelf entitled I'd Really Like to Eat a Child. She was a little put-off by the book and could not believe it was written and marketed to small children. I immediately thought of Tim and put the book aside to purchase at the end of the evening as a gift.

That book now sits on our bookshelf and will find a new home in the nursery when the time comes. I think it would only be fitting to have a few crocodiles worked into the room's decor for good measure. Crocodiles and babies go together like peas and carrots right? These people in Pakistan seem to think so anyway. OK maybe those people are a little crazy. I am sure a few crocodile references will still find their way into the nursery though.